How To Live Like a Rockstar When You are Not One...
Mexican Bar Brawl. -Live transcript of Mr. E. https://youtu.be/mEn2yTJO8xc [su_dropcap]I[/su_dropcap]n October, 2014, I went down to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. That is where Junior, one of my best friends, lives. We go down there to hang out and do all kinds of shenanigans. We go once every-other-year kind of thing… It was nearing the end of the trip of when I was supposed to leave. I went there with a one-way ticket and figured I would come back whenever I had...
Learning Liquor. 6 October 2017 Sometimes I get called ‘Soft’ or get called a ‘Pussy’ because I rarely drink hard liquor. When I get called a ‘liquor pussy’ and I am never sure if that is an insult or a demand… It drives me a little bit crazy because most of the people who attempt to taunt me have never come close to partying to the degree that I have over the years since this journey began fresh to the...
Travelling Pyongyang North Korea – Part 8. Pyongyang, DPRK. 27 June 2017 (cont’d). * (For the previous part, click here: Life in North Korea – Part 7) As we are on our way back to the capital city, travelling Pyongyang North Korea, I was interested in local careers, so I asked my North Korean guide, Kim, about jobs. He told me that all jobs pay nearly the same. A dentist makes a similar amount of money as a bus driver. I wanted...
Touring the Pyramids of Egypt. June 3. I was up at 06:55. My alarm was set for 07:03 which would give me just five hours of sleep. It is incredible how a brain wakes itself up just before the alarm clock even when the brain knows it needs more sleep. How does the brain actually know what time it is when it is sleeping? How does it physically know when 07:03 is to wake you up just a little before?...
April 16 The ‘Walvis’ of Walvis Bay is ‘whale’ in Afrikaans. Awesome… I went for a walk around Walvis Bay in an attempt to try to find a tent. I failed in the tent quest, but really came out ahead because I stopped at a business called Namib Off-Road, that was closed. There was a sign on the door that explained their closure was due to a 4×4 Desert Challenge behind Dune 7. I asked a cabbie where Dune 7...
March 31 48 hours ago I was in Lesotho… Right now, I am near the top of Botswana. I can really make miles when I need to get somewhere. It is hell on my body, but I can cover the ground when I feel like I need to. [su_note note_color=”#b0b1b6″ text_color=”#030303″ radius=”6″] 433 km – Oxbow, Lesotho to Johannesburg, South Africa 349 km – Johannesburg to Gaborone, Botswana 670 km – Gaborone to Ghanzi, Botswana 285 km – Ghanzi to...
March 28 I got up at 05:45 for the sunrise. The people at the Sani Mountain Lodge had been raving about it. I prefer to curse the sun to howl at the moon, but sometimes a man needs to tackle a sunrise. Nature here had convinced me so. [su_pullquote]”Are you from Wales?” a local asked me today. Wales? That is a random one…[/su_pullquote]It was cold. Like a-sweater-is-not-enough cold. But, while it is cold for me, the Lesotho’s really take it...
March 26 I decided to check out of the village Roma and get deeper into Lesotho to get as real as possible. I feel like I sort of cheated Swaziland by only seeing just a small corner of a small country. So, this morning, looking at a map, I noticed a fine line that represented a road that went right across Lesotho to the other side. It was not a thick line so I knew it was not much of...
March 19 South Africa had quite a history, some of it very dark. On February 1st 1991, a signing of a national peace accord took place where former president F. W. de Klerk promised to end an apartheid legislation and end the segregation of whites and blacks. Up until 1991, covering a time frame of about 20 years, South Africa had a dark mark on their name because of the partisan. This proud sports nation involved in cricket, rugby, football, where...
March 18 Johannesburg: Like Nothing I was Expecting. The bus arrived in Johannesburg at 06:00. I was listening to the band Seether as we drove because they are the only band from South Africa that I really know anything about. Coming into Johannesburg was very interesting. I have only heard terrible things about Johannesburg. Car jacking. Murder. Theft. Crime. Gated communities. I did not even really want to visit, but I had a friend here so I decided to come...
Kibuye to Gisenye: Motorcycling Rwanda. Feb 3 There was a bus that was going to leave at 07:00 to go from Kibuye to Gisenyi, but that meant a 06:00 rise. I figured I would try to find another way or hitchhike if I had to, but I did not need to get up so early for the bus. By the time I showered, packed and was ready, it was 10:00. My friend Martin from Germany was heading to a town...
Arusha to Mwanza – A Sore Ass and Overlooking the Obvious. Jan 17 Swahili loves to double up on the words language-wise. Here are some examples. Almost every word I know in the language is doubled. picki-picki – Motorcycle (because it makes the sound ‘picki-picki-picki-picki’) pole-pole – Slow peeli-peeli – Spicy boda-boda – Road haraka-haraka – Hurry I was up at 04:30 so that I could shower and check in for my Arusha to Mwanza bus. I had bought a bus...
My father was hanging out with me in the basement, and then he began getting his band equipment together to haul upstairs to load into the car. He told me that he had a gig to play at the senior citizens’ home in Coronach, the next town over. My father is a very youthful 78-years-of-age. I asked him if he needed a roadie for making music. He was happy to have another set of hands to carry equipment, so I decided that I would join him for his performance. Once we got everything into the car, we had a quick sandwich in the house. As we were about to run out the door one of my brothers called. I knew we were short on time but my dad was too polite to say so and he talked to my brother as I watched the anxiousness build up in him as time was ticking by. Eventually, dad got off the phone and we jumped in the car to race the ordinary 15 minute drive from the ranch to town.
The Cuban Scooter Heist Jan 15 Bean and I are a lot. That is becoming clear… Bean says that we are the guys in the books that everyone else is reading about here on their vacation. That is probably a very accurate assessment. The day really began when we were trying to track down a car to rent at Starfish, our resort. We walked into a tiny air conditioned shack in the resort parking lot where a man was leaning...
Penhold, Bentley, and Sylvan Lake. September 13. Penhold parade took place today. I spent most of the parade racing Kellen for candy that was thrown from cars. The parade was more about politics than anything else. It disappointed me. Where are the cool cars? Where are the floats? Here is the Liberal Party representative. Here is the NDP party representative. Here is the PC party representative. Here is the town secretary… Good thing there was candy to buy the children’s...
Penhold: Pepperoni Hamburgers in a Haunted House. September 11. After a late start because of a little lady’s illness last night, Travis and I left Penhold and went to Red Deer to buy diapers and beer. That is quite a combination. I tried carrying the diapers and felt that it was bad luck so I had Travis carry them instead. Some things just do not look right on me. Perhaps one day I will have to buy diapers. Maybe...
Regina – Beer Dog. September 5 Beaner told me that stench is added to propane because it is actually odourless. That is my interesting fact of the day. I wonder how it was agreed on what the international stench added would smell like. Perhaps someone create a smell and everyone said, “This scent furthermore will represent propane and will never represent anything else. Hereto, all propane processed on earth will have this specific smell added to its gastric compound.” That...
Regina: ♫Road Tripping with Two of My Favorite Allies…♫ September 1. A welder friend of Dan’s told him that metal in the 1980’s was way better than it is today. The metal that is made today is not very good. That is interesting because he could be talking about music. Dan, Bean, Fiona and I went road tripping to Parry to Bean’s farm to drop off a truck load of things he has collected that he calls ‘treasures’ and...
Big Beaver to Regina: Labour Day Party. August 31. 5:20am is too early for any human to have to be awake. But I had to tie up a few loose ends with packing before dad drove me to meet Travis and Kellen at the Harptree grid just south of Bengough. I said goodbye to pa and then Travis and I had an awesome visit all the way to Regina. It is very nice to be around him. In Bengough at...
Coronach: Universal Thoughts with Mike. August 23. It is raining like crazy here. There is far too much rain. The earth here is saturated. It has been two days of rain, at a lousy time. Had the sun been shining my family would be in the fields harvesting. I wish that was happening as I would like to be a part of that while I am home. I spend the day with dad and then Michael came to pick...
Learning Tejo. July 20 I found some really awesome traditional Colombian-ism today. It is a game called Tejo. It was perfect. It was throwing peices of metal, gunpowder, and beer. Perfect. I woke up in Nathali’s bed. I was still alone so I can only presume she did not get cold in the night. Smart woman. She must have had more blankets than I wished she had! Nathali cooked me breakfast. Duck eggs taste like chicken eggs. Nathali, her brother...
La Paz: Israeli Manners. May 23. Two Israeli girls were sitting behind me on the bus. One of them kept on putting her feet up on the back of the seat so that they overhung where I was sitting to show her Israeli manners. It was driving me nuts, but I was tolerant. It was muddy outside and when a chunk of mud fell on my seat, I slapped her on the foot and told her to keep her...
Buenos Aires Meat Meet Party. April 10. It was a casual one, and I was not out of the house until it was dark, which always makes me feel shitty. We went to the butcher shop at about 8pm and bought a lot lot of meat, some vegetables, some bread and came back to have a ‘parilla’ (barbecue) for about 12 people. We were planning a Buenos Aires meat meet party. I was informed that as a man I would...
Asunción: Cold Starve Works, But Wow it Sucks. March 28. When you do not drink liquid or eat food for 30 hours it really does terrible things to you. I could not sleep very well at all. I had been tossing and turning and I am sure everyone in the dorm stayed awake because of my mental battle to kill a cold with a Cold Starve. I was so thirsty, and my stomach ached. I actually peed in the middle...
March 22. This date is usually a very crazy day for me. The life-changing event of 2011, 2012, and 2013 all took place on March 22. It is a weird day for me. It is also my brother’s birthday, and we had an awesome visit today, which is a nice way to have the day this year. It took Irmante and I forever to get moving as I have a million things to do before I could leave the hostel. Eventually,...
Rio de Janeiro – The Calm Before the Storm. 18 March I am not hung over after St. Patrick’s day. What a treat! We had a relaxing one and we woke up in Cash and Csilla’s corridor sweatbox at about 10:30am. Cash and Csilla have a cat who was taken away from her mother too early, so she suckles on the fuzz of a teddy bear that they have in the house. Irmante has been trying to get the...
Rio de Janeiro: Stalking a Crippled Masturbator. March 17. Our friend Csilla from Hungary is an English teacher here in Rio de Janeiro. When she used to live in an apartment in downtown Rio, the doorman of her complex thought she was a prostitute. An eastern European woman who had plenty of male visitors in business suits, who would stay for an hour and then leave again… St Patricks Day No Way. I just do not feel like drinking right...
Rio de Janeiro Before Ayahuasca. March 14. It was hot and the mosquitoes who used to bite Csilla at night, have found me at the half way point to her room and, being lazy mosquitoes that they are, dine on me instead so Csilla no longer has bites in the morning. You are welcome! They were relentless to me last night and I could not sleep until 4am and I had to have a shower to make myself tired enough...
Paraguay Consulate is Where in Rio de Janeiro? March 12. Vacation means, “We have to get up early tomorrow to head to the Paraguay consulate,” and that means getting up at the crack of 10:00am dawn. And that is awesome! Life is good, even if I am still fired up of the hassle of this Canadian passport and the visa situation of this continent. We headed for the Paraguay consulate so that I could sort out a $137 internet informed...
Petrópolis to Rio de Janeiro Vomit Drive. March 7. Irmante and I woke up in a very hot car in the downtown of Petrópolis at 10am, and there was a parking ticket on our window. So, we took it off and walked to the hotel where Scottie and Shanna were staying. Scottie looked terrible, like a man who drank a lot of tequila the night before. He tried to shower off the look and the feeling, but it did not seem...
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February 7, 2016 Today was a special day where I went to spend an hour with a silverback gorilla family in the mountains of Rwanda. It was…
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August 3, 2008 Bangkok, Thailand -Sex Show [su_dropcap]I[/su_dropcap]t was early August and my German girlfriend and I had just left Australia on a cheap flight to squeaky…
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January 30, 2015 My father was hanging out with me in the basement, and then he began getting his band equipment together to haul upstairs to load…
March 18, 2013 Want the recipe for a fascinating day? This one serves three: Step One – Get Ingredients and Heat up the Oven It started when…
May 1, 2012 I was up at 7:00am, showered, packed and caught a bus from my hotel to Hyun Jin’s place where she fed me breakfast. She…