How To Live Like a Rockstar When You are Not One...
Big Beaver: The Guy I Was When I Left. August 22. Today I got up to work on a few things and when dad got home from coffee in town we went to work on his truck. We got under the hood and changed the water-pump on the engine of the truck. I was once again be the guy I was when I left Canada. It took us three hours. It has been many years since I did any...
Big Beaver: Slipping into my Old Self. August 21. I got up this morning to a stack of mail on my dresser old. I am probably the only person may age in Canada with his high school bedroom basically untouched. I went through my mail and thanked people for Christmas cards that I just received now. My plan was to only be home for a few days but I will likely be home for a couple of weeks. There are...
Regina to Big Beaver: Home, Home on the Range. August 20. When I woke up this morning I had no idea where I was initially. Then I realized I was in Bean’s bed. I heard Steve moving around. I remembered Kelly saying last night that she was going to cook us waffles in the morning. Steve sent her a message and we went over for an awesome breakfast. It is really nice to be home. I had no idea how...
New York City to Regina – Aguardiente in Canadiana. August 19. A little over an hour of sleep is not enough. I require more. I got out of bed, grabbed my backpack, said goodbye to Julia and her cat and headed for the airport. I would have liked to have spent a lot more time in that bed. Julia is pretty, has an amazing body, is a great person to spend time with and has a laugh that will recharge...
New York City: New York Blues. August 18. I found a little mischief this morning and then made my goodbyes to Irmante and Anne. Good girls. Good girls to spend time with. I packed my bag at their house and went to leave their house. They have a chubby housemate who Irmante refers to as ‘Sperm-whale’ who a couple of weeks ago went into their bedroom and stole valium tablets and then later stole $40. I was very cold...
New York City: Manhattan Free Walking Tour. August 17. A Manhattan free walking tour is much less interesting than you might think. It is a lot of talk about millionaires and billionaires and how much money they have and the buildings they made, and how they left $20 million to their dog when they died. And there I was yesterday, spending an extra hour on the internet to save $26 on my plane ticket by using all of the internet...
German Nearly Official US Language. August 16. Imagine… It was close. German Nearly Official US Language. Imagine how different the world would be today had that been the case. Think of the wars… I was told recently that the United States of America had a vote when the country was being formed as to which language they would speak in the country; English or German. There were nearly as many German immigrants as English at that time. A language vote...
New York City: Friendship Comets Colliding. August 15. Not a lot of things in life feel as cool as having people from different waves of your life meet, hit it off and bond like old friends themselves. In the dictionary it is one of the four definitions for the word ‘Awesomeness.’ It is in those moments when you find your friendship comets colliding! Irmante and I got out of the house late and went to the High Line, a park...
New York City – Jeff Koon Three Meter Porn. August 14. Irmante was very sick today. She did not feel like moving. But we got her going. Her hangovers are nothing to be desired. She took me to the Whitney Museum of American Art to the Jeff Koon exhibition. I have never seen anything quite like it before. There was a lot of sex involved in it including three meter tall canvas photos of Jeff Koon having sex with his porn...
New York City: North American Ground. August 13. The size of the human beings in North America is always a surprise for me every time I return to this continent. I caught the subway from JFK airport in New York City to Manhattan and the enormity of the people is disturbing. It is an issue that is going to need to be addressed here in the future as people are not going to live long at that size. On...
Cartagena: South American Exit. August 12. For days Marc and I have been talking about how we do not get hungover from Club Colombia beer because it is not very strong. Today was a different day. We had plans to go to Playa Blanca today, but I was too hungover and tired to be able to get out of bed at 8:30am. When I opened my eyes again it was 11am. Club Colombia cervesa finally got me. We had a...
Cartagena – One Last Ripper. August 11. Riding a boat from Cartagena to Panama though the San Blas Islands sounds like a great time. But, when you go to the meeting in the morning to find out about the crossing and there are two Aussie dudes, one old and one young, and an Aussie chick who is the girlfriend of the young one, and an older Japanese man who does not speak English at all and a gay man in...
Santa Marta to Cartagena: Back to a Dirty, Expensive, Lousy City. August 10. The times they are a changing. Marc and I said goodbye to Knut today as we headed from Santa Marta to Cartagena. I liked hanging out with him. It took five and a half hours by local but to get from Santa Marta to Cartagena and then we had a tough time trying to find a hostel as the town seemed to be booked up. We lucked out...
Cabo de la Vela to Santa Marta: Surprise Fiesta. August 9. Girls in Colombia have a huge party for their 15th birthday. It is their biggest birthday of their lives and they dress as nicely as possible to be exceptionally pretty for that special night. In Colombia, they say that an ugly woman is a woman who has never turned 15. Am I tired of Colombia or am I just tired of t fight for a fair price for everything...
Riohacha to Cabo de la Vela: Northernmost South America, Almost. August 8. The postal service in Colombia has been a pain in my ass. I have had postcards I wanted to send out since I was in Bogota about three weeks ago. A girl who worked in a hostel there told me where the post office was and drew it on a map for me. I walked across town. It was not there. I asked someone else. They send me...
Palomino to Riohacha – Breaking the Group. August 7. The Italian women said goodbye to us this morning with our American friend Julia. I think Rosie was ready to leave us but Chiara did not really want to leave. Those are two really awesome women that we had a great time with. I will miss those girls. Marc, Knut and I caught a bus from Palomino to Riohacha at about 11am. We found a crumbling hotel and got our own rooms...
Palomino: Pondering Relationships and Flings. August 6. It is crazy how far behind four days without internet can put me. So I spent a lot of today laying in a hammock looking at the beach and catching up on life. Women are interesting creatures. One day I think that quiet and shy ones like me because they like to have a leader, and then I meet a really outgoing woman and it turns out that she likes me because she...
Parque Nacional Natural Tayrona to Palomino – Sandy Spots Aug 5 Waking up in a hammock for two mornings in a row will give you sore shoulders. It sure saves money to sleep that way though. And saving money is necessary right now… I ended up in this park with about $15 to my name because we were in such a hurry to catch our boat a couple of days ago that my hung over mind lost the ATM thoughts...
Parque Nacional Natural Tayrona: Bicycling. August 4. Life was a dandy of a beach all day. That meant beer, sand and swimming. Things can get worse, but I hope they never do. We met a couple from Portugal today. They are Pedro and Sarah and they have been bicycling south for 15 months. They started in Boston in May of last year. That must feel pretty good to tell people. They have 9 months left until they need to make it...
Taganga to Tayrona National Park: A-holes. August 3. I am turning into a mean person because of the pure alcoholism that has taken over my life since Marc arrived. I told off a German girl who kept on slamming the dorm-room door while we were sleeping. Then I challenged the massive Scottish guy who ran our hostel because I wanted a better price from him for the dorm for him not having internet for us for the two days...
Taganga Hookers, Transvestites, and Friends. August 2. Hookers are funny. That is a fact. We spent the day at Playa Grande, about a 20 minute hike from our hostel in Taganga. Knut and I drank beer and swam while Marc went on a dive with the Dutch girls we were with last night. In the evening the Italian girls joined us in the same club as we had been the night before. I need to get better at picking up...
Barranquilla to Taganga: Pressured. Aug 1. Girls drive me crazy… It is because they are nuts. I just feel like they are totally irrational…all of the time. Marc, Knut and I went for lunch in a place in Barranquilla where there were chickens walking running though our legs. I like a fun restaurant like that. I caught a chicken and hypnotized it for them. That entertains people. We wanted to get from Barranquilla to Taganga, so we packed up at...
Cartagena to Barranquilla: Murderers vs Killers. July 31. Sometimes one meets really sketchy dudes when drinking in front of a pharmacy at 3am. Tonight was no exception… Marc and I caught a bus from Cartagena to Barranquilla. I was fascinated to see what was in Barranquilla. Shakira is from here so I assumed there was a lot of talent in town. Marc and I were the only two gringos on the bus to get here. I liked that and knew...
Cartagena: Life is a Beach. July 30. I met a very pretty girl in our hostel dorm room today. She looked at me and asked me in Spanish which bed I was sleeping in. I pointed to the one beside hers. She laughed. It had been dark last night when I returned to the dorm and I found a girl on her phone and asked her to be my light while I tried to put sheets on my bed. She...
Popayán to Cartagena: Beating an Airline. July 29. This morning as Lucia went to have a shower before work, I was awakened by a couple moving into the dorm at about 8am. The pretty girl was apologetic in English rather than Spanish. A conversation between us took place. She was from Minnesota and asked me if I was an American. I told her I was from Big Beaver, Saskatchewan. She made a funny face and said, “I think I have...
Popayán: The Closest I Have Been to Home on the Road. July 28. I woke up next to Lucia and decided to get ready for the day. I feel at home on the road here. She took me for breakfast at Ex!to where one of her food stalls sells to patrons entering the store. She had a bathing suit delivered and we took a bus into the mountain to a volcanic area where hot springs are. We spent the day...
San Agustín to Popayán: The Best of Tricky Scenarios. July 27. I woke up this morning and had a decision to make. I could either stay another night in the hostel of the cocaine maker and see how that went, or I could go back to Popayán where three girls are not very happy with me. I decided on the later. I felt like there was less chance of being murdered there, and more chance of charm getting me out...
I wish I could say that we were inside of a pristine shiny and sterile cocaine lab that I had pictured in my mind with people wearing baby-blue uniforms similar to what a nurse would have on with dust masks over their faces while machines made noises in the background. But it was nothing like that. It was way dirtier. We were taken to someone’s house.
Popayán to San Agustín – The Worst Road in Colombia, So Far. July 25. Colombia is the type of country where a man in the center of a town square has a scale at his feet, and he will charge you C$1000 to find out your weight. Opportunistic. Colombia also calls people who want to sell you crap, ‘Snake Charmers.’ I like that. Colombia also has traffic rules but is also a ‘make your own rules’ kind of country. Many...
Medellin to Popayán: Medellin City Tour. July 24. Getting out of bed with a gorgeous naked woman at 7am when you are on vacation to go on a Medellin City Tour is difficult. I had been recommended the free Medellin City Tour by three different people, so I put my immediate thoughts of interest aside and headed for the shower. A cold water shower because there is no hot available will certainly extinguish any lingering ulterior thoughts. Our guide was a...
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January 7, 2007 Phuket, Thailand Sex Show 7 January 2007. Well, my buddy Mike and I made it to Phuket, Thailand. It was evening when we arrived…