How To Live Like a Rockstar When You are Not One...
Popayán: Plan A and Plan B. July 10. Learning a new language is hard to make yourself do. I try to make 35 excuses of why I do not have time to study to avoid doing it. Then as soon as I begin to study and learn, I think, “This is effing awesome. Why was I not doing this earlier and why was I putting it off?!” It is the exact same experience I have every single time I catch...
Popayán: Colombian Snack. July 9. People love my wooden sunglasses. I get a compliment on them nearly every day by someone. When people ask me, “What are they made from?” my standard response is, “I think a small Chinese child’s hands…” The reality is that it is probably entirely honest and that is pretty sad… My dates with Lucia include me carrying a Spanish/English dictionary like it is my man-purse. It is necessary for communication with her and vocabulary. My...
Popayán: My Hatred of Mass Tourism. July 8. Selfish girls piss me off. Well, selfish guys piss me off too but a selfish girl is more selfish than a selfish guy. She seems to expect more. When the football game has begun and you come to the hostel to meet your friend and I so that we can hurry and get to a television to watch the game and you show up late, make us wait longer so that you...
Popayán: The Nature of Age. July 7. My Canadian friends, Rob and Tracy, are travelling the world with a five year old. Makai is a really good little traveller and he hangs out well with the adults. They have to take him for out for doggie walks so that he can burn off some energy as is the nature of age. I am well entertained by him and their parenting process. My favourite thing he has said so far is,...
Popayán: The Phone Number. July 6. Hanging out with a beautiful Colombian woman for the day is a pretty nice day to spend one in Popayán. I met up with Lucia at 2:30pm and we went for lunch. She can not speak a word of English and my Spanish would be somewhere around 1% if I was to write a test. Last night when we were drunk, the alcohol made me intelligent enough that I could understand her. Slightly hung-over...
Popayán: This Country Rocks. July 5. The sound of a Gibson Les Paul is one of the most sexy sounds I know of. I have been listening to a lot of Guns N Roses again. Sometimes an album makes you play it, and the when you hear it again for the first time in three years or so you wonder why in the hell you had shelved the album for so long. That is what is happening to Appetite for...
July 4 This is getting out of control, but it is as much fun as I could possibly be having. Colombia has a New Gringo King! I am on a hot streak that is so awesome that I nearly burn things that I sit on… I woke up in a lot of dog hair from the shaggy creature that lives in the house of my friend Glory. Actually, Glory woke me up as she was on her phone all morning...
Popayán: My Crazy Sex Life. July 3. I have found the source. You know that ideology you have in your head about beautiful Latin-American women and you have a vague idea of where they are from but you can not pin-point the place? Well, it turns out that place is Colombia. It is crazy out there. The skinny ones are pretty. The chubby ones are pretty. If you like shopping, Colombia is two weeks before Christmas. Welcome to my crazy...
Cotacachi to Popayán: Changing Countries and Talking to Idiots. July 2. Changing countries is always hell somehow. Even as a wily veteran traveller, it is always a little bit terrifying heading into the complete unknown. By now I should be used to that slight feeling of un-comfort, yet I still feel it every time when I am changing countries. There is a new currency to learn the value of when changing countries, a new list of cities to geographically memorize...
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August 3, 2008 Bangkok, Thailand -Sex Show [su_dropcap]I[/su_dropcap]t was early August and my German girlfriend and I had just left Australia on a cheap flight to squeaky…
February 7, 2016 Today was a special day where I went to spend an hour with a silverback gorilla family in the mountains of Rwanda. It was…
January 10, 2017 Anyone ever heard of a band called Electric Eel Shock? There is a reason why you haven’t. The reason why you haven’t heard of…
May 4, 2014 Breakfast was at 8:30am, and I was the last to arrive. I was still feeling effects of the chicha, the local corn-moonshine we had…
July 26, 2014 I wish I could say that we were inside of a pristine shiny and sterile cocaine lab that I had pictured in my mind…
June 3, 2016 Convincing a 20 year old to get out of bed at 10:30 is no easy feat… It turns out that playing Slayer really loud…
March 15, 2014 We were up early to meet a group of three other gringos at Central station at 10am. We were early. We were tired. We…
January 30, 2015 My father was hanging out with me in the basement, and then he began getting his band equipment together to haul upstairs to load…
March 18, 2013 Want the recipe for a fascinating day? This one serves three: Step One – Get Ingredients and Heat up the Oven It started when…
January 24, 2007 Vang Vieng Paradise of Laos Girls [su_dropcap]V[/su_dropcap]ang Vieng. My paradise. Vang Vieng has a lot of things to do that can occupy a man’s…