My First Corvette – My Seven-Year-Old Fantasy is Here!

My First Corvette - My Seven-Year-Old Fantasy is Here
My Girls!

Corvette Day – This is a short guide on how to have a crush on two girls at the same time!

June 1, 2019.

By the time we got moving, Gene-the-Corvette-guy had called Not Larry and told her that he would let her have the car for $500 more than her offer. I have been perusing for the right Corvette for weeks. It is time! Plus, Not Larry was making a push to help line one up. So, we made a plan to drive all of the way to Standard, Alberta, about 4.5 hours from Boyle.

It was 20:00 before we got to a Standard town with a Standard bar, where Gene-the-Corvette-guy resides. Gene is a heavy-duty mechanic in his 60s.

He pulled a gorgeous 1981 Chevrolet Corvette out of the shop and into the setting sun.

The car was even more beautiful than it was in the photos on the internet.

The color of the car was iridescent, changing from purple to blue to bronze as we walked around it. I had seen that paint only once before on a car and it blew my mind. And here that color was again, on this Corvette! A Corvette that I could own…with that crazy paint! And, one with a 4-speed manual transmission, something uncommon in the C3 Corvettes! And a brand-new 327 engine in it! And the chrome 18” rims are designed to look like teeth! My First Corvette - My Seven-Year-Old Fantasy

I fell in love with the car. I am not just talking puppy love… Car Love…

Gene told me to take it for a drive. Not Larry had already purchased an in-transit permit for the car, so we were even legal to drive it, something that seemed odd somehow. I asked Gene, “Can I drive it? Like really drive it?” He told me that I can probably not hurt it, but to make sure I did not wreck it. Not Larry got in the passenger seat and I got behind the wheel.

I left the garage driveway and hit the highway. I immediately opened the car up and went through the gears…hard. It was awesome and the car really moved. It was amazing. Not Larry was looking at me because of how hard I was pushing the car. She asked me, “Are you always going to drive it this hard?” I replied, “Maybe not once I own it!”

I guess I should explaing that we were in this position today because of a vivid childhood memory. When I was about seven years old, my brother Matt’s friend, Boyd, came over with a 1979 Corvette. I had never seen one before in real life. We grew up as hillbillies in pick-up trucks and those cars did not exist where we came from unless they were on a television. It was the greatest car of my brothers’ generation and it even trumped the black Trans Am in Big Beaver that had ruled my mind for my lifetime up until that point.

I can remember that Corvette being at our house and in the morning, when I am sure Boyd was very hung-over, he took this little boy for a drive in his car. I remember being amazing by how the outside door-handles worked and was unable to open them myself because I was too small to push them down far enough. We got in and only went about a half a mile north of the house on the gravel road before I remember him locking up the brakes and ripping a half of a doughnut, and heading back to the home again. I was little and could barely see over the dash, but I remember that ride very well. I had dreams about that car after. There was nothing, and I mean nothing, cooler than Boyd Anderson’s Corvette when I was seven years old. That ride has stood out for me for all of my life.

It is funny how impressionable young minds are… Because today I know I was looking at that Corvette due to the strength of that vivid childhood memory…

Now, a couple of weeks past 40, I finally have a little bit of money saved up to spend on the fantasy myself. I have been shopping and today I found it. After we got back to Gene-the-Corvette-guy’s shop I asked Not Larry what she thought about the car. She also liked it. but I think she just really liked it becasue I liked it so much. I paid Gene the money he wanted and he filled the car with gas to seal the deal…

I now own a 1981 iridescent Corvette! The paint is unreal. I could not have even imagined a better color myself. I had been looking for blue, red or orange, but this crushes than any of those colors. This thing is incredible. It is all of those colors!

My First Corvette - My Seven-Year-Old Fantasy is Here

Just Bought!

Not Larry followed me back to Boyle. I drove the Corvette anywhere from 160km/h to 90km/h on the way home, I took corners sideways through intersections, and I have found out that ripping doughnuts in a Corvette on the pavement is really freaking fun! Like, really really freaking fun! Ripping doughnuts on pavement in a Corvette is a one of the best times you can have with your pants on. I could see Not Larry in her car, just watching and laughing as I went around. She told me that I look like a 16 year old boy with my excitement and my smile.

A Corvette is loud to drive. Wind noise is something else, and the cars are rough to cruise in, but they sure are a blast to drive. It was so much fun to drive it back. Not Larry told me that she was worried about me like a protective mom as I cut that car through the night.  

When we stopped in towns on the way back to get snacks, I would get out of the car and I could not believe what I was getting out of… I would shut the door on the car and just look at it, sort of in disbelief. That was my iridescent Corvette in the parking lot! That was MY car sitting there. My car was the one that made people want to have a conversation. I freaking own that car! It is amazing for me and I am so proud. Mine! That iridescent Corvette is mine! Unreal! Not Larry talked about my smile over it and how I am so happy and that makes her happy.
My First Corvette - My Seven-Year-Old Fantasy is Here

When I would meet other cars like Mustangs on the road, I would scoff at them. I own a freaking Corvette. I feel so freaking incredibly cool right now, driving that car. And I have a Corvette driving cowboy hat that is necessary accessary for driving the car! The only CD I had for the drive to Boyle was Rage Against the Machine’s ‘Evil Empire.’ Blasting Rage, and flying down the highway in a Corvette sure is something awesome. Bulls on Parade!

It was 04:00 when Not Larry and I got back to Boyle. I did not care how late it was. I would have stayed up until midnight tomorrow to have had the chance to buy that car and drive it like a madman all through the night! So awesome.

I took one of my girls and parked her in front of the house and then I took the other and put her to bed for the night. So awesome. 




My First Corvette - My Seven-Year-Old FantasyJune 2
I have had my driver’s license for 24 years today, and I have now had a Corvette for one day! It took a while to get to this point.  

Not Larry and I woke up, she showered first, and by the time I got out of the shower, she was outside in a yellow sundress, barefoot, and taking a shammy to the car. Yes! That is a pretty awesome sight to see, my beautiful girlfriend, in a yellow sundress, buffing an iridescent 1981 Corvette! Awesome! Life is pretty good right now!

When the car was clean, we took the T-tops off and then took some photos. Not Larry sat on the hood for the ones I took. I wore my awesome sunglasses and my cowboy hat. That is the complete fantasy for me, her in a yellow sundress in a Corvette, and me in a cowboy hat with the T-tops out!

My First Corvette - My Seven-Year-Old Fantasy is Here

My Girls!

This is ticking the boxes of life! 

Dusty was so excited to see my car and could not wait for me to get down to his house. He had sent text messages very early in the morning asking if I was up, and then he was calling me a couple of hours later to get me moving to come down to his house. Karlee was saying in the background of the telephone, “You have a very excited 39-year-old friend here!”

I left in the afternoon and drove to Waskatenau. I could not speed on the way down because I do not have insurance to drive south as the In-Transit permit is only from Point-A to Point-B for a week, and we were only supposed to be driving north from Standard to Boyle. Rules Schmules… As soon as I got to Waskatenau, Dusty and Karlee’s five-year-old, Stryker, got in and asked me to take him for a ride. He is two years younger than I was when I had my first Vette ride. Stryker had been anticipating my arrival. He was wearing a cowboy hat as well as my old belt and buckle. He looked cool! I told him to hang onto his hat and asked him if he could see over the dash. He said that he could not but did not care and told me to drive fast. We went for a quick ride down the highway. Then he asked me with sparkling eyes if I would drive him to school in the morning. Awesome. I sort of felt flattered. When we got back to the house after, Stryker asked if he could have me and my car for Show and Share at school tomorrow. So now I have to show up at school around 11:30 in the morning for his presentation to his classmates. So, his parents and I were teaching him to remember that it is a 1981 Corvette, with a 327 engine, and a four-speed transmission so he can explain the car to his classmates. He is five-year-old delighted!  

Dusty wanted to go for a drive, so we went out on the highway and I went through the gears, fast. Then we stopped in a town along the way to rip a doughnut on main-street. It was crazy fun as the car came around so fast and with so much force. Dusty said with excitement, “Your nuts are tight!” then immediately re-considered his wording and said, “Umm, that is the gayest thing I am going to say today…!”

We were talking about how we grew up dreaming of this moment, driving one of these cars when we were kids. Then when we hit the intersection to the highway, I nailed it and hit the highway sideways. Unhappy with my performance, I found another intersection and really let it go, coming completely sideways and the tires really squealing. I could see how happy that made my childhood friend in the passenger seat. We were like excited children, or 16-year-olds again with our first cars. He took a photo of us together driving down the road and told me, “That is my first selfie.” His first selfie of his life was in that moment together. How awesome. When I asked him if he wanted to drive, I am not even sure if I had finished saying the word ‘drive’ when he said, “Fuck yeah!” He tried to be gentle on the car until I said to him, “Drive it!” So much fun. He told me after, “Harris, you have an awesome car…”

Today was fun. Yesterday was fun. These past two days have been magic! This is living a fantasy.



#bigbeaverdiaries #corvette #driving #fantasy

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