Popayán: Colombian Rock Out
Popayán: Colombian Rock Out.
Table salt in Colombia comes in two forms; regular and diet. Diet salt has 40% less sodium. What is the point… Just cut the salt out. It makes me think of the massive people who came to Hard Rock Cafe and ordered a massive hamburger, french fries, onion rings, and a diet coke to drink, followed by a massive brownie sundae. Diet companies must make millions.
‘Knight Rider’ is ‘Auto Fantastico’ in Spanish.
El Dorado is Gold.
Colombia is the kind of country where the vendor sitting behind the counter is drinking beer on a Friday afternoon. The western world needs to relax more…
Lucia left my hostel this morning to go to work. She was tired. She told me that often when she gets home she continues to talk cave man Spanish to her daughter out of habit from trying to communicate with me for the previous hours. Funny.
Lucia came to meet me after she finished her shift. I had been drinking beer and watching football. Being on vacation is tough work. We went to my hostel for ‘delicioso orgasmo’s, headed for her house so that she could shower, and change into a little skirt and black rock and roll clothes then went to Metalheads where two bands would play Colombian rock. I won the staff over when I helped the band carry in equipment. The bar owner began slipping me shots of Aguardiente Caucano after. I was sitting beside Lucia and a pretty Colombia metal girl who I decided to befriend because she was alone. She talked at Volume 2 when Volume 4 was necessary, and the speed she used was hyperactive for my Spanish capabilities. I talk to Lucia all the time and she slows down her language and only uses a few words. Then I get confident because her and I communicate so well and try to talk to someone else who fires machine gun words on me at which point I realize I have no clue how to communicate in Spanish and my language confidence vanishes. That happened tonight with the quiet fast talker. I stopped trying to converse with her thereafter once she had destroyed my communication confidence.
The first Colombian rock metal band had a female bass player. She was not particularly attractive but I could probably fall in love with any Beetlejuice pant-wearing woman playing bass in a band with a tattoo on her shoulder that says ‘Speed Metal.’
It is nice to have a beautiful woman worship me like I have on the go right in my life right now. It has been a long time since I had that. I feel jealous Colombian women’s eyes on my all of the time. It is incredible. I am a rockstar here in this town. I am going to give it up in a couple of days, but wow Popayán, Colombia, has given me gifts. Lucia and I spent a lot of the night sitting on top of the bar together, devouring the metal and Colombian rock. I can say that sitting on top of a bar and making out with the hottest girl in the room while a death metal band rocks out live can make a man feel pretty strong. Life keeps on handing out more and more peaks… Making your smiling gorgeous 97lb temporary Colombian girlfriend in a short skirt sitting on top of that bar shove moshing dudes with both hands is pretty awesome.