Blue Rodeo – Black Eye
Blue Rodeo – Black EyeI went to a Canadian band called ‘Blue Rodeo’ in a bar in London a couple of weeks ago when all of this madness started. It was sold out when I showed up and I had to wait until someone arrived with an extra ticket. Amanda from North Carolina came with a spare after her Canadian friend stood her up. Amanda was young, lesbian, and very sexy. She is the girl in every lesbian relationship. The bitch not the butch. I asked her about that later. I wish I had a picture of her but I forgot to get one. Anyhow, I made her my friend right away, because we were both by ourselves, and bought us a couple of beer. We visited some and that was when she told me she was a lesbian. Awesome. We were cool. A hot lesbian. Great concert. 300 people in the bar, max. It is amazing how much borders change the status of a band. You could not get near Blue Rodeo in Canada. About 75% of the people in the bar were Canadian ex-pats.
Wow, a steel guitar is a star of the show sometimes. I remember that from the last Blue Rodeo show and aside from meeting a hot lesbian, it was the best part of the night as well. What a great sound a steel makes. It does not get enough credit. And the whole band and show as amazing.
Anyhow, after the concert we went to a hard rock bar called the Crowbar, and then to a harder bar called The Intrepid Fox. By this point, Amanda, the hot lesbian liked me, but not like like so do not get any ideas about where this story is going. We made friends with a scumbag Aussie (Aussies are usually scumbags. If you leave your girlfriend in a bar for 2 minutes while you go to the toilet, and you come back and there is a guy hitting on her who knew she was with you when you left, it is almost certain that it is an Aussie yapping at her in an accent that is barely English that he personally thinks is endearing) in the Crowbar, and then Amanda the Lesbian and I were the only people who were not covered in black and gothic in the Intrepid Fox. We had a good time and we even danced, and then I met some guy from South Africa, whose name I can not remember, but he was smashed was telling me how tough he is and then he asked me to punch him in the face…
Well, I am a million things, and tough is not one of them, but if someone asks me to punch them in the face, I think it is a fine move. My buddy from home used to ask everyone to do it about 7 year ago when he was drunk after he watched Jackass, and I watched everyone punch him in the face except me because I thought Mike was too good of a guy to punch in the face, until I realized I was the only guy who was not regularly punching him in the face, and I realized I was only cheating myself and punched him in they eye the very next time I came to this realization. Anyhow, the South African asked me to punch him in the face tonight, and Amanda the hot Lesbian told me not to be such a boy, but I told her that I am a boy. I decided opportunity knocked…
I showed the South African where I was going to him just below the eye first, and then I would up and punched him as hard as I could. Well, you can imagine how that went in a bar. Everyone around us freaked out and got in between us like we were old enemies. I did not give a fuck. Everyone realized we were both calm about it, I asked him how it was, and he told me it was alright, though unfortunately he did not go down because I am not Muhammad Ali of yesteryear, and it settled everyone and then we became buddies. Then I had to listen to him tell me how he has been in 1000 fights and how he could tear me apart if he wanted to and all of the shit a guy who just let you punch him in the face will tell you. By now, Amanda the hot Lesbian thought I was a trouble-maker, but I convinced her I was nice and I was just punching an idiot in the face who had asked me to do so.
Then…it is funny how it is, and I am certainly no killer, but because of what had just happened, as we were leaving, some fucker, who much have watched it all, thought I was something, and told me I bumped into him as I walked past and that I should apologize in his total dick tone. I told him to fuck himself and that he was a liar and that he knew that I had not bumped him. He pushed me so I pushed back and got past him, I told him he was a liar and told him that he knew he was a liar, and then Amanda the Lesbian got past. He was too much of a piece of a garbage to follow me, luckily, Amanda the Lesbian and I got outside where I caught a bus to go home and she caught a cab home. Hot lesbians are more luxurious to I am I guess. Lesbians seem to know when the party is over too I suppose. They seem to have the same sense of atmosphere as everyone else. Amanda the Lesbian told me she has not had a skin cock near her in two years. She told me she does not miss it, then she asked for my phone number before got on the bus. Liar Lesbians…?
Anyhow, it is nice meet hot lesbians that are not just ‘dudes with vaginas’ or ‘flatcocks’ every now and then. I had previously thought hot lesbians only exist in porn and in my fantasy’s but Amanda is living breathing proof that they are really submerged in our society. I wish I had a proof picture of her. I also wish I had a picture of the South African and the welt that showed up under his eye. What a wasted opportunity for two fine picture. What a shame I did not have her take a picture of the South African and I while we were talking after when she was sure I was a rascal. It is a ridiculous memory though. Now, some fucking idiot is going to go to his job vacuuming carpets in an office somewhere or making pizzas with a huge black eye tomorrow because he let some other idiot who he did not know punch him in the eye in the bar. Awesome and awesomely stupid!